Dear Coleen: I’m confused over friend who says he doesn’t fancy me but snuggles up close on sofa

A woman in her 30s sought advice from agony aunt Coleen Nolan after feeling confused about her relationship with an old friend from college who claimed he doesn’t fancy her. The woman recounted that they had been reconnecting, spending time together like they were dating, but her friend suddenly revealed he didn’t have romantic feelings for her. Despite this revelation, they continued spending time together, with the friend even snuggling up to her on the sofa on one occasion, leaving her feeling bewildered.

Coleen Nolan responded by suggesting that the friend values their friendship deeply but may not have romantic feelings towards her. She advised the woman to consider stepping back from the friendship if she cannot accept that it will never progress beyond friendship. Nolan acknowledged that while the friend’s honesty may have been awkwardly expressed, it was important for the woman to set boundaries to avoid getting hurt, especially if she developed deeper feelings for him.

Nolan cautioned against pursuing a friends-with-benefits arrangement, highlighting the potential for emotional harm in such situations. She encouraged the woman to remember her self-worth and seek a partner who reciprocates her feelings fully. The advice concluded with well wishes for the woman navigating the complexities of friendship and unrequited feelings.

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