Dear Coleen: I’ve spent over £2,000 on my friends this year and am sick of being a doormat

A woman in distress reaching out for advice about her friends taking advantage of her generosity is seeking counsel from the column ‘Dear Coleen’. The woman shares that despite always being the friend who gives the most, she never receives appreciation in return. In fact, after facing a health scare recently, one of her friends reacted insensitively, causing the woman great emotional pain. This incident became a breaking point for her, as she realised she was tired of being taken advantage of by her friends.

The woman, who is 61 years old and deals with various health conditions, including a recent heart attack, raised concerns about being the only disabled person among her friends and yet spending over £2,000 on them in various ways throughout the year. She described feeling drained and unappreciated, longing for a change in her situation. Seeking guidance on how to address the imbalance in her friendships, she turned to ‘Dear Coleen’ for advice and support.

In response, Coleen Nolan acknowledged the woman’s kindness and generosity but advised her to reflect on why she felt the need to go above and beyond for friends who did not reciprocate. Coleen encouraged her to prioritise her own well-being and redirect her energy towards self-care. She reassured the woman that taking care of herself was not selfish and that true friends would stand by her through difficult times.

Coleen suggested that the woman start by setting boundaries and focusing on her own needs rather than constantly giving to others. By doing so, she could begin to build healthier relationships and potentially attract new, more supportive people into her life. While acknowledging the pain of realising that some friends may not be who they appeared to be, Coleen emphasised the importance of valuing oneself and choosing friendships that are based on mutual respect and care.

Ultimately, the woman was encouraged to take steps towards reclaiming her self-worth and creating a more balanced dynamic in her relationships. By prioritising her own needs and well-being, she could pave the way for healthier connections and a more fulfilling social life.

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