A woman sought advice from Dear Coleen about her boyfriend who never got over the guilt of leaving his family for her. The woman shared her story of how they got together while he was still married, and how they moved in together after his wife found out and threw him out. Initially, everything seemed great, but they began arguing about his relationship with his ex and their children. The woman believed that the guilt of leaving his family for her was a constant issue in their relationship.
As time passed, their relationship improved, and they even discussed marriage once his divorce was finalized. However, unexpectedly, the boyfriend expressed his desire to end the relationship, citing that his teenage children had pleaded for him to return to the family home. Despite claiming he still loved the woman and felt bad about hurting her, he made the decision to reconcile with his family. He moved back in with them and cut off communication with the woman, leaving her feeling devastated and hoping for his return.
Dear Coleen acknowledged that starting a relationship through an affair, especially with children involved, was not a solid foundation. She explained that affairs often stem from underlying issues in a relationship but can lose their appeal once the consequences come to light. Coleen advised the woman to accept her boyfriend’s decision to work on his marriage and family, even if it meant letting him go. She highlighted the importance of focusing on oneself, one’s support network, and the future, rather than dwelling on the past relationship.
In conclusion, the woman was urged to move forward, acknowledge the complexity of the situation, and consider the implications of potentially rekindling a relationship based on infidelity and instability. Coleen advised prioritising self-care and healing, with the hope of finding a healthier and more fulfilling relationship in the future.